In a world where everyone is a “nutrition enthusiast”, many children are missing out on a plethora of good food and nutrition. I have always avoided extremes, especially when it comes to my kids. I aim to make my home the most healthy environment that I can, but don’t get too uptight when they are with friends and grandparents. My only goal is that my children learn to love and respect all food and what it does for their bodies. I want them to try all cuisines and flavors. I’m aiming to raise “foodies” over “health nuts”. I don’t “hide” food (although there was a time when my oldest was a toddler). We should be honest with them and let them learn to love vegetables prepared in various ways. When we eat dinner together I always pick a “dinner star” they don’t get anything special, just a round of applause and they seem to enjoy the bragging rights. While these are pretty standard guidelines for all my children, each one is very unique and I have found that I need to treat their differences the best way I can.
Different kids, different eaters:
The “Cool” Kid: This kid wants to be apart of everything. If most of the kids are eating school lunch, it’s embarrassing to bring a lunch his mom made. If the kids in the neighborhood are riding their bikes to 7-11 for a slurpee and you say, “no” - his life is over. He will turn down lunch you made for him and go eat pizza at the neighbors. He’s not picky, just defiant.
What to do: Don’t deprive. Let him be a kid. Teach him. My son really loves to learn. I try to be upfront and honest. “Hey, this is made from straight sugar. They took white sugar and added fake blue dye to it. This stuff will make you sick. If you were going to get candy, a Snickers would have been a better choice.” I frequently talk about how food will impact his athletic performance, since he loves all sports. I also try to teach him that he doesn’t have to do what everyone else does. He will eat well for me at home, but it is all the other outside influences that make it hard. We do the best we can and hopefully, one day he gets it. We compromise a lot. For example, I make home lunch 3 days per week and he has school lunch 2 days per week. If he wants to buy crap food with his friends, he has to use his own money or do a job to earn it. Sounds harsh, but he is really exposed to a lot of crap. We must make choices. He’s my most exotic eater, loving everything from spicy enchiladas, to coconut shrimp and Indian food to sushi.
The Eater: This kid loves all food. This kid is also a “people pleaser”. She will tell me how good something is with profound exaggeration. She loves anything from Cheetos to salad. At social gatherings, she basically wont stop eating. She wants to try everything! She is non-stop all day long and subsequently hungry all day long. Sometimes I feel like she eats when she is bored. She gets really excited about food.
What to do: For now, she is so active it is fine that she eats frequently. But, there are times during the day and after dinner that I say, “the kitchen is closed”. I plan to keep her as active as possible since her appetite is larger than mine. She also loves to learn and will constantly ask me which is a healthier choice. She will notices when we drive past a McDonald’s and mention that it doesn’t smell good. I use the opportunities to teach. We are working on not sounding pretentious when we talk about food with others. We talk about eating the rainbow. I never discuss “good” or “bad” foods. Rather, foods that can help your body and foods that are special treats.
So Picky (and makes you want to jam a pencil in your eyeball): This kid is fearful to try new foods. Anything green scares her. She loves the word “no” and will throw a major tantrum when you say, “its dinner time!” She doesn’t eat much and takes tiny bites. Even yummy treats are very rarely finished. If I let her, she would just eat macaroni and cheese every single day.
What to do: This is the most difficult one for me, because it requires so much patience for just about every meal. In my case, she has Sensory Processing Disorder. So, there is a legitimate reason for her fears. For breakfast and lunch I give her options, allowing her to have “control” and choose. Sometimes, she will pick three things (and only take a few bites of each) and that’s just fine with me. Some days, she eats like a champ and I let her know it! She LOVES Mac and Cheese and I know she will eat it, but I refuse to let her rule me there. Sometimes, I will leave it off the menu choices at a restaurant. She actually doesn’t like to dip all the time, but that can be a wonderful tool. When she won’t try a new food I break it down. First touch it. Then, put it in your hand. Give it a kiss. Lick it. Put it in your mouth, but don’t chew it. Many times I will say, “just try it and if you don’t like it you can spit it out.” It gets VERY exciting when she tries something and decides she likes it. If we go out to eat and she does order M&C or a quesadilla I always try to get her to have some veggies with it, even if its just salsa.
The Blank Slate: Babies
What to do: The younger the kid is, the better they will adapt healthy eating styles early on. Once a baby is six months old they can start on real food. I skip the baby cereal because I don’t want the very first thing my child eats to be a processed grain, she’ll get plenty of those as she grows up. Soft vegetables are the best choice. Avocados require no work, just slice and spoon. Sweet potatoes or beets can be roasted and then mashed with a fork. If you want to puree, cook up a batch and then freeze in ice cube trays. But, progress rapidly, getting them thicker and thicker so that baby can learn to move the food around her mouth with her tongue and start the chomping motion. Put small bites of food on her tray and let her get that pincer grasp in action. Instead of pureeing, just chop up the cooked food. As they get older and more coordinated, give them bigger pieces. They will gag and somewhat choke, but THEY ARE LEARNING TO EAT. Let them make messes! I am on my hands and knees three times a day cleaning up the floor under her high chair and its 100% worth it to me. There is NO reason for your child to be on purees by 10-12 months. By 8-9 months my babies are eating absolutely everything.
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